I haven’t written to you in a long while, but somehow today is a good reason to do so.
The presenatation went fine. I wept though, later, in my room, recalling how after each one of these you used to call me up to ask how it went. And guess what, I have started rendering in photoshop again. I made this really pathetic hospital dialysis chair but that got me into the groove and today morning, just under 3 hours, I was able to finish this other recliner/lounge dialysis chair for airports and all. I was really happy, it came out well for someone who took to it after such a big gap.
Talking of airports, the Mumbai CSIA continues to amaze. How I wish we could experience it together. It instills such pride with the artwork and the design really.
You know, your first month of not being with us went by. Do we make it worse by attaching labels to it like aaj ek din ho gaya, aaj ek hafta ho gaya, aaj ek mahina blah blah? I don’t think so. It’s worse anyway, just that these measurements add a bit of salt to our wounds.
Mummy’s fine and we have planned to keep her details under wraps from the assholes. My health is getting better and I’ll become regular again at Kung Fu soon, but the great thing is I have started going to these Kannada classes. Yes, I may learn one South Indian language finally.
I am really proud that I am back at conquering my fears, slowly and steadily. I just wish this nightmare could end. That you could appreciate all this. I really feel like jumping off that 6th floor terrace in front of my room at times but somehow I stop. Maybe I am too much of a coward to even do that. I really don’t think or care about anyone at those moments. But I have kept up the charade really well. People know that something’s terribly wrong, but I haven’t told anyone in the department or even the institute except Ekam, though I don’t feel right about it.
Anyway, I’ll be meeting Kumaran this weekend. Haven;t told him yet but hope that I can really grab that Thoughtworks job and move to Delhi. Let’s see what the next few months bring out of me.
I am gonna try to enjoy some of the stuff on my PC now :)
Love you papa. Miss you so so much :)