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So long…

Hi papa!

 I haven’t written to you in a long while, but somehow today is a good reason to do so. 

The presenatation went fine. I wept though, later, in my room, recalling how after each one of these you used to call me up to ask how it went. And guess what, I have started rendering in photoshop again. I made this really pathetic hospital dialysis chair but that got me into the groove and today morning, just under 3 hours, I was able to finish this other recliner/lounge dialysis chair for airports and all. I was really happy, it came out well for someone who took to it after such a big gap.

  Talking of airports, the Mumbai CSIA continues to amaze. How I wish we could experience it together. It instills such pride with the artwork and the design really.

  You know, your first month of not being with us went by. Do we make it worse by attaching labels to it like aaj ek din ho gaya, aaj ek hafta ho gaya, aaj ek mahina blah blah? I don’t think so. It’s worse anyway, just that these measurements add a bit of salt to our wounds.

  Mummy’s fine and we have planned to keep her details under wraps from the assholes. My health is getting better and I’ll become regular again at Kung Fu soon, but the great thing is I have started going to these Kannada classes. Yes, I may learn one South Indian language finally.

  I am really proud that I am back at conquering my fears, slowly and steadily. I just wish this nightmare could end. That you could appreciate all this. I really feel like jumping off that 6th floor terrace in front of my room at times but somehow I stop. Maybe I am too much of a coward to even do that. I really don’t think or care about anyone at those moments. But I have kept up the charade really well. People know that something’s terribly wrong, but I haven’t told anyone in the department or even the institute except Ekam, though I don’t feel right about it.

Anyway, I’ll be meeting Kumaran this weekend. Haven;t told him yet but hope that I can really grab that Thoughtworks job and move to Delhi. Let’s see what the next few months bring out of me.

I am gonna try to enjoy some of the stuff on my PC now :)

Love you papa. Miss you so so much :)

Metro ride!

hi papa

since the day i had arrived, i hadn’t taken the metro. today, I did. and the 8 coach long as well. went to give Sunita aunty some paperwork required for your loan closure etc, and on the way back caught an 8 coach long Bombardier snake. frankly it didn’t do anything to uplift my mood though. the heavy fog today only mirrored the lost dreams and plans i had before you left us.

Chadha uncle has been amazingly helpful. i only got to know today that he’s having a real tough time in his own personal life but he helped us really well. The CP branch asshole is up to no good saying shit to kitty and i wasn’t there but kitty tells me that mummy became emotional over there. he wasted 2 hours and kitty as usual is getting stressed out. it’s a good thing they leave in 36 hours and she won’t have to run around this much. she IS the man of the house.

mummy sat with us today and laughed a bit and chatted normally and i made her understand that if the maid doesn’t turn up, give her a kind thought as she too has a life and so much on her head every day and you too would have done the same. 

i didn’t really make that chair with the thermocol yet but i really have lost interest in general life. Sukh told me he won’t take me to London if i dont ace my exams, he doesn;t know there are no exams left, just the major project. and as if London without you will be enjoyable. i was so looking forward to our first trip together.

and it really hurts to think that in 36 hours this house that you and mummy built with so much honesty and hard work will have a lock on it’s main door which we don’t now will open when. why did you say that you won;t ever shift out of here and will die here itself? amit uncle told me you had plans for a bigger house as and when my wedding would have taken place. and what’s with the not coming in my dreams business? baaki sareyaan nu te darshan de ditte! this is not done. i finally mustered up enough courage to tell eenu about you, but poor lad is too busy and hasn’t called back yet. what will he say anyway? it won’t bring you back right?! i will give them all a big hug as and when i see them.\ you meanwhile take care of yourself.

i love you papa. :’(

Products

So I have to present 2 major project problems tomorrow, on which I’ll be working for an year, and I have to give 2 very structured presentations tomorrow regarding which I am in a total mess because I don’t have the user statistics or surveys to justify the need. I got my foot corn removed th past Saturday and due to the stitches I am having too much trouble in even walking. Of course I should have done all this long before. I wasn’t even able to enjoy my best friend’s wedding!

#fail

I am back

so what all have I been up to all this time:

tasted some success finally. cleared CEED(Common Entrance Exam for Design). got a call from all the institutes where I applied so far. after getting rejected by IIT-Bombay for both Mobility and Vehicle design(due to studio test), and Animation & Film design(due to the interview), the next stop was IISc(Indian Institute of design) Bangalore, which is also known as Tata institute. the studio test got screwed here because of the engineering questions regarding which I had no idea. I had presumed all along that only design based problem solving and aptitude questions would be asked. then again, the interview went well enough and after the magnitude of the instutute’s reputation sunk in, I wasn’t expecting anything from them, because if a lesser reputed than this IIT-B had rejected me, then there was no question of me beig taken by IISc for Product Design and engineering masters degree. again, I was wrong. on the evening of 28th April, they had mailed the successful students the offer letters. I was in a volvo bus back to Delhi from Ahmedabad, after having royally screwed my chances of getting selected at the reputed National Institute of Design’s Animation and Film Design Diploma program, in the interview again :P then again, IISc was a secret desire for all the extra things I thought I’d learn there. came home, vomited out my experiences to my dad, and then checked the mail. couldn’t believe my eyes initially. read it thrice and only then started informing my near and dear ones. :)

and since then, I haven’t sketched anything. that sucks. it’s hard to kill time. I’ll try to murder it here because I leave for Bangalore only on 25th July.

I know no one’s reading this, but I feel like thanking all the awesome designers, known and unknown, friends and starngers around the world, whose creations have awed me, and inspired me to become one. I hope I perform well there and get a good job say in Tata motors or something :P ha! 

I’ll keep posting random shit here. ;)

That’s my cousin sister’s daughter, who’s barely one when the pic was taken. Her name is Japbani Kaur and she’s cute as anything. Her pictures come out really funny, even though she’s barely aware of anything. My parents always break into big smiles and even laughter seeing her horrified expressions in some of her pictures, that my cousin posts on facebook. Though her expression got a bit changed from the original pic, it came out well, as I finally got the shading quite good in this one. I usually avoid working hard on the clothes and all except the face, and I didn’t like doing it much here too. That was rushed. Hope you too find my niece scarily adorable :P :)

While browsing tumblr one day, there was this picture which was appealing, beautiful and sensuous too. Though she did look like an adult film actress, I wasn’t sure. I saved the pic. And I tried to sketch her. somehow, I liked the result, though her jaw’s base and neck seem to have merged in my sketch. I specially loved how the lips turned up, because there was a lot of detailing which I managed to bring alive. A lot of friends liked it, most of them oblivious to the fact that she is in a trade which is hated by many to be in, and enjoyed by most to watch it. anyways, let’s not delve too deep. Hope you like it :)
Zoom Info
Camera
Sony Ericsson C510
ISO
125
Aperture
f/3.2
Exposure
1/13th
Focal Length
4mm

While browsing tumblr one day, there was this picture which was appealing, beautiful and sensuous too. Though she did look like an adult film actress, I wasn’t sure. I saved the pic. And I tried to sketch her. somehow, I liked the result, though her jaw’s base and neck seem to have merged in my sketch. I specially loved how the lips turned up, because there was a lot of detailing which I managed to bring alive. A lot of friends liked it, most of them oblivious to the fact that she is in a trade which is hated by many to be in, and enjoyed by most to watch it. anyways, let’s not delve too deep. Hope you like it :)

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